Thames Rockets: London’s Fastest Speedboat Trip

I was a guest of Thames Rockets, but as always all views are my own.

I’d like to say this is going to be a cultural post, but in all honesty it has a James Bond flavour with a helping of adrenaline. Thames Rockets is London’s fastest speedboat trip, a thrilling ride along the River Thames that shows off London’s most iconic sights. I usually prefer to showcase the lesser known side of London, but as a bit of a powerboat junkie I’m back at the foot of the London Eye for a second serving.

Thames Rockets London: the London Eye from the river, where London’s fastest speedboat trip begins

Thames Rockets: London’s fastest speedboat trip

It’s perfect for thrill-seekers, but also gives a totally unique bankside view of London, stretching from the London Eye to the Docklands. You can buy tickets in advance or from the ticket office next to the London Eye, and you can book at thamesrockets.com.

What to expect on Thames Rockets

Our personal rocket for 12 people met us at the base of the London Eye. You don’t need to bring anything but a little courage and some curiosity. Lifejackets are provided, and there are no toilets on board, so use the facilities at the London Eye booking office beforehand. I tucked my handbag under my feet, and we were ready for take-off.

Each boat comes with a skipper and a guide, who entertains you with fun stories during the 50-minute Ultimate London Adventure. We set off at a leisurely pace towards Westminster and the Houses of Parliament, then turned around at the top of the palace and headed east. Hold on to your hat once you get past Tower Bridge, when the engines rev up and the adrenaline fun starts.

Westminster Bridge and Cleopatra’s Needle

Keep your eyes peeled for Westminster Bridge. The green colour is painted the same shade as the leather seats in the House of Commons, in contrast to Lambeth Bridge, which is painted the same red as the leather seats in the House of Lords. Fun fact: the view from Westminster Pier to St Paul’s is protected.

Further along is Cleopatra’s Needle, which has a twin in New York but no real connection to Cleopatra, as the needle was already over a thousand years old when she was alive. It was erected in 1878 after a dramatic journey from Alexandria. A time capsule is hidden in the pedestal, said to contain photographs of the best-looking women of the day, a baby bottle, a box of cigars and a portrait of Queen Victoria. The faux Egyptian sphinxes at the base are said to have been installed the wrong way round, and face the needle rather than guarding it.

Cleopatra’s Needle on the Victoria Embankment, seen from the river, with its hidden time capsule

The Millennium Bridge and the Walkie-Talkie

The Millennium Bridge was nicknamed the “Wobbly Bridge” after reports of how much it swayed, and it was closed for two years while repairs were made. It also wobbled away in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, although this time beyond repair.

Thames Rockets London: the Millennium Bridge, the wobbly bridge of Harry Potter fame, seen from the river

The Walkie-Talkie skyscraper at 20 Fenchurch Street had a major flaw in 2013: its curved glass focused the sunlight so intensely that it damaged a parked car in the street below, earning it the nickname Walkie Scorchie. Sunshades were added to fix it.

The Walkie-Talkie skyscraper and the Custom House seen from the river, famous as the Walkie Scorchie

Tower of London and Tower Bridge

In 1671 Colonel Thomas Blood stole the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London, but the heist ended in disaster when he was caught at the wharf with some of the loot. He managed to charm his way into a royal pardon from Charles II and even bagged himself land worth £500 a year.

Tower of London from the river, home of the Crown Jewels and Colonel Blood’s daring heist

Always remember to look up as you go under Tower Bridge. Its blue and white colour scheme was restored after the bridge was painted red, white and blue for the Silver Jubilee in 1977.

Thames Rockets London: looking up as the speedboat passes beneath Tower Bridge

Close by, HMS Belfast is a floating storyteller, with more history in every one of her metallic pores than any other ship in the country.

Thames Rockets London: HMS Belfast and the Shard on the south bank of the Thames

Wapping and Rotherhithe

Next comes Wapping, where the river police are based, which is why the boat speeds up or slows down here depending on its direction. The Captain Kidd pub sits conveniently behind them. It is named after the seventeenth century pirate William Kidd, who was executed at Execution Dock. The Wapping Old Stairs are popular with mudlarkers (shore scavengers) and archaeologists, because fragments and jetsam wash ashore here.

River police boat at Wapping, near the Marine Policing Unit and the Execution Dock pubs

Look out for the pub with a star-spangled banner on its deck. The Mayflower pub at Rotherhithe is said to be London’s oldest riverside pub and dates back to the 1550s, when it was called The Shippe. The Pilgrim Fathers set sail for the New World aboard the Mayflower, which was docked at the pub’s landing steps. It is now the only pub in the UK licensed to sell stamps.

Mayflower plaque at Rotherhithe on the river, where the Pilgrim Fathers set sail in 1620

Thames Rockets won’t take you all the way to Canary Wharf, but you’ll get a great view of the Docklands before you turn around and head back out west.

Canary Wharf skyline across the river, seen on the way back from the Docklands

Book Thames Rockets

Opposite the drop-off there is a pub on a boat, which serves a decent menu and martinis after all that shaking and stirring. There are several trip options, including seasonal themed trips, so check thamesrockets.com for current prices, times and what’s on. For a longer river day out, read my guide to Royal Museums Greenwich.